EmotionOcean

Thoughts for the day:

We're emotional. We are flooded with waves of (sometimes) different emotions every day. Emotions are directly involved with anything and everything that we do.

Don't believe me?

Yelling, fighting, screaming, crying, (insert Taylor Swift reference), cheering, hitting, smiling, and frowning are all actions that stem from emotions.

Emotions can make us:
be careless,
care too much,
drive too fast,
lie to people,
cry,
jealous,
destroy things,
hurt people,
scream into pillows,
lash out,
make out,
sad,
passionate,
guilty,
distant,
thoughtful,
happy,
cheery,
joyful,
greedy,
scared,
lustful,
cranky,
cuddly,
loving,
angry,
thoughtless, etc

I think that all decisions we make have a certain amount of emotion built into them. Even something like buying the generic cheese rather than the brand name at the grocery store could be a decision stemming from emotion, I think.

"It's just cheese, Mikey," okay, well why did you make that decision to get the generic?

A few choices:
• "Why waste the money, it tastes the same" (you want to save money, obviously. I truly believe that this could be fear, greed, or even guilt).
• "I don't have the money, it's no big deal, it tastes the same" (you could be afraid you don't have enough money, afraid you won't be able to provide for your family, yourself, etc).
• "The generic one tastes better to me/I like this one better" (eating cheese you don't like would make you not happy, or possibly even disgusted, which is emotional).

I guess it could theoretically be random, but those 3 above seem to be pretty common responses when we decide which brand of the same item we want to buy.

"Okay great now we know cheese is emotional, now what?"

I'm so glad you asked! The point isn't that the cheese is emotional, it's that *everything* is emotional.

I always wondered why people (usually younger, like middle school) pick on others for being emotional... Girls (and guys) pick on guys for crying or "showing emotions", guys (and girls probably) pick on girls for being too silly or dramatic. It just doesn't make sense to me.

There is nothing wrong with being emotional! There is nothing wrong with crying, whether you're a guy or a girl. There is nothing wrong with anger, *as long as you don't let your anger erupt at people*, and as long as you don't let the day expire while you have anger toward someone; you are supposed to reconcile that situation with said person (Eph. 4:26-27). There is nothing wrong with showing love, pride (careful, not all pride is good), shame, or loneliness. These emotions were even present in the first few chapters of Genesis. The Bible says that God showed that He was proud and happy with what He created, He said Adam should not be alone, and after they ate the fruit, they felt shame.

These emotions are now all apart of our daily lives, whether or not some of them were originally intended for us to feel (sadness, lust, anger etc).

I guess the lesson is to cry over spilt milk. (Huhh???) Don't let your emotions stay bottled up. Cry a little from time to time, find a friend that will agree to let you vent to them, and discuss your feelings with people who have the same feelings. It's completely okay.

What's NOT okay is keeping your feelings bottled up, and eventually exploding or finally "going off the deep end". What's NOT okay is taking that anger out on other people (or yourself). What's NOT okay is harboring hate toward someone.

We are to LOVE one another, I think that is God telling us it's okay to be emotional, because love is one of the largest emotions. We cannot let our emotions control how we act 24/7, but it's very wrong to think that "being emotional" is a bad thing or quality to have.

I'm a very emotional person, and sometimes, yes, it can cause me to cry or get all worked up at the wrong times, but it also can cause me to: write down some deep feelings for others benefit, love those who have wronged me, talk to others about the issues I'm having, feel for people who are freaking out or breaking down, listen to and really care about the people I'm talking to, and be passionate in everything I do. I don't think those are bad, do you?

In regulation, emotions are very healthy, and definitely not "bad". Stop trying to avoid them, they're everywhere. Embrace your fears, sadness, anger, and ask God to help you deal with them in the proper manner. If you don't talk to God, talk to a friend or family member about it, because everyone goes trough all emotions at some point in their life.

If you don't feel that you have anyone to talk to, please try to find someone, or you can always talk to me. We aren't meant to be alone, we need people to talk to. God is always listening, but I understand some people aren't comfortable with that for their own reasons, and that's absolutely not something I'll judge you for in any way.

Every human being is precious, and worth time to God and to *most* people. That means you, you are precious. You are loved, you emotional rollercoaster you. The next time some emotional waves come crashing down, don't try everything you can to fight them. Cry, yell into a pillow, take a walk or a break. Sometimes you need to get knocked down, but remember God will always help you get back up.

And lastly, when you feel that wave coming, do everything you can to direct those emotions AWAY from violence. Maybe your way of venting is punching stuff, being reckless or even attacking people. Please don't do that, find some safer, better ways to relieve your built up emotions if they're that cray. Pray or scream into a jar, you'll figure out what works for you.

Feel free to comment, message me, or share this. You can also find all my thoughts that I post on FB on my blog here: http://mikeyspl.blogspot.com/ I may also post random stuff on here as time goes on.

God bless you, you crazy emotion ocean.

Stress

FROM FACEBOOK:

Thoughts for the day:

TLDR; it will be alright, God will pull you through.

You aren't okay. But that's okay.

You may be thinking, "what Mikey??". Here's what I mean...

There is always something to worry about, it seems. There is always something stressing us out. There is always something upsetting us. Always something weighing us down, whether it's big or little, it's there. That's how it's going to be, so that's alright. Don't feel like you're a bad person for being stressed or even depressed.

I'll list some topics of stress, in no perticular order. Look at them and privately mark down what you're currently going through or went through recently that stressed you out, like I did.

✔️ going to college
✔️ death of a family member
◻️ being bullied at school
✔️ heartbreak
✔️ abandoned by a family member
◻️ marriage issues
◻️ quitting smoking/drinking
✔️ money for car repairs
✔️ moving
◻️ bad fighting with parents/siblings
◻️ family member away in the military
◻️ house/car/etc flooded
◻️ traffic tickets
◻️ sickness or family member being sick
✔️ self esteem issues
◻️ being homeless/losing your house
◻️ getting laid off of work
◻️ your kids moving out
✔️ finances
◻️ first day of high/middle school
✔️ loss of a favorite pet
✔️ wrecking your car
◻️ buying your first house
◻️ going to a new school
◻️ taking care of a baby
◻️ learning to drive
✔️ losing a best friend
◻️ anxiety from meeting new people
◻️ flying for the first time
◻️ starting a new job
◻️ facing fears
◻️ medical bills
◻️ social anxiety
◻️ upcoming surgery
◻️ peer pressure
◻️ battling addictions
✔️ stepping out of your comfort zone
◻️ trying new food/hobbies/etc
◻️ school decisions
◻️ anything else that's stressful

Before we go any further, please take time to thank God that you only have the issues you checked. Everyone has different issues, but I think we need to be grateful for the issues we DON'T have. I think the reminder that it's not as bad as it could be is very helpful.

Once you've done that, please continue reading.

You may now be thinking something like:
"Golly Gee, thanks Mikey now I'm thinking about all my anxieties and I feel horrible, you suck."

And I'll say:
"Good, because now you can see what God has solutions to. Now you see what stressers God can take off your chest."

You see, we aren't supposed to be able to control our lives. The Bible says that even the "best" (for lack of a better word) of Christians will go through trials. Even the person who has their life 100% in order with God still has troubles. I mean my goodness, look at Job from the Bible. He lost EVERYTHING except his own life, but he put his trust in God and ended up blessed with twice as much as he had lost. He had every reason to be stressed but he kept praising God. If you haven't read Job's story, then you should, because he had it worse; it's an eye-opening read to say the least.

So give your stress to God. Let Him lead you. Let Him fix it. Pray & listen for His guidance, even if you aren't a practicing Believer. Because with His guidance comes peace and relief from the stress, trust me. He is there for you, whether you are a Believer or not, and He loves you.

He sees your big picture, and He knows where you're going to end up at the end of your life, at the end of this sentence, and at the end of next week. All you really know for certain is what you're eating for dinner tomorrow, and that's sometimes not even clear 😋. Let Him absorb your stress, and guide you out of it.

There will still be stress sometimes, but when you give it to God it becomes SO much easier to handle. Ask Him what He wants you to do in your situations, and do your best to follow that path He lines out, because He will when the time is right.

Your life is a road. One day you see something blocking it. Get out of your car & find a way to go around it, through it, or go over it. At the VERY WORST, you need to wait for the city or firefighters or whoever (God) to come move it for you. But the idea is that eventually you'll get past it safe and sound either way.

Persevere driver, you can do it, and you can do it smoother with Gods help. Never forget that.

Battles

FROM FACEBOOK
Thoughts for the day:

I was thinking last night, that our lives are like books, but something that I realized stood out. I felt it laid on my heart to type it all out this morning for some reason, so here it is.

Let's say chapter 13 of a book takes the main character on the journey to meet a dragon. Chapter 13 ends with main character seeing the dragon for the first time, in some dramatic way. Of course we are hooked on the story, so we start reading chapter 14 immediately. The beginning of chapter 14 introduces the dragon, and the entirety of chapter 14 is the dragon battle. So what do we, as readers, focus on? The end of 13, the beginning of 14, or the excitement and craziness of the main event in chapter 14? Of course we pay the most attention to the main middle event, the battle.

Why then, as humans, do we focus on the beginning and ends of our life chapters, rather than the exciting middle parts? I know lots of people that do this, and I do this usually as well.
For example, when moving south, I was a mess (cut me a *little* bit of slack, I was 14). All I saw was the END of my New York chapter, and the BEGINNING of my South Carolina chapter, which I though was going to be absolutely terrible (no offense SC peeps, i love y'all), because I was "leaving that behind". But that's just the thing, the memories and the friends aren't gone, they're just sealed in that closed chapter, possibly even waiting to be revisited in a later chapter down the life road.

So why do we focus so much on the beginnings and the ends? I think it's because they are so dramatic. "This job is going to be so exciting, I can't wait for it to BEGIN", "going to college is so scary, I'm dreading the FIRST DAY", or "that relationship/friendship/etc was so great, why did it have to END". Those are all dramatic things, even something like "I can't wait to GET my new car" shows how much we focus on the beginnings of chapters. Because we aren't saying "I can't wait to HAVE MY CAR FOR YEARS OF FUN DRIVING", or whatever, we are looking forward to GETTING it. Its the beginning. Or like losing a SO/family member/car/pet/anything, it's sad right? Of course! It's absolutely horrible for most people to go through that END. And as humans, I think *sometimes* (key word here, for later), we cannot control how much or how little we focus on that END. It's natural to grieve, and everyone does that differently. I don't think we can always control that, because until you get that internal click, that says "wait, this happened for a reason, God has a plan", your mind does what it wants.

I know people that grieve by deletion, removing all traces of the person/pet/car/etc from memory by taking down pictures, items, whathaveyou.

I know people that grieve by obsession, doing the opposite of the deleter, putting up more pictures, holding items close to their heart, and not letting the thing go as quick.

I've seen people grieve by burning things, tearing pictures, trying to make people jealous, trying to fill the void with a new bad relationship, turning to substance abuse, distancing themselves from the hurt, putting things away, selling things, holding onto them, trash talking, distancing themselves from everyone, and just breaking down.

I'm the last one. When I get a horrible chapter end (3 big ones, that I thought were each the end of my world, and each much worse than the previous, in 4 years of being here 😐) I usually don't know how to handle it well at first. I binge watch Netflix, don't eat well, cry till 3/4am sometimes, and am in a generally funked out mood for a while. I've been told "you can control how you react" but I really think that *sometimes* (there's our key word) we can't control how we react. Not on our own, that's for sure. Sometimes we cannot control our grief (that's just human nature) until we can see that God let that bad chapter ending happen for a reason. It's always a process, even after that realization, but it becomes much easier when you "look with His eyes". I'm still grieving the big event from 3 years ago, just like I am the one from 2 months ago. And that's natural, and that's fine.

Here's the key:
You need to realize that there's going to be dragon battles that you lose. What if main character loses his battle in chapter 14? Is he going to go into chapter 15 hurting? Yeah I think so, he just lost to a dragon, lol. But he's going to have a new chapter to grow in and explore, while still recovering that L in chapter 14.

There will always be another dragon, but we need that middle time between them to grow and learn from the last one. Sometimes we win, sometimes we lose, but it's the battle itself that we need to focus on, because either we can keep the beautiful success memories tucked away safe to remember later, or we learn from the bad defeat story, and use it to mature and grow stronger. Whether or not you beat the dragon is irrelevant, because looking back, you will be stronger, in one aspect or another, either way.

I've always loved the analogy of "Gods view". How we are looking at a sports game (our life) through a little knot hole in a wooden fence, and God can see over the fence. Sometimes He offers to lift us up to look at the big picture, but I think we are usually too focused on our little picture, and don't look, thinking it's already the best view we can possibly have. If we do take His hand and look over the fence for a minute, everything makes sense, it's all so much clearer, but we can't stay up there forever. We aren't all knowing, we aren't allowed to be. That's how it should be.

I am very thankful for the glimpses over the fence that I get. They always come to relieve me in a time of stress and craziness. I am also very thankful for those middle memories I have of the 3 big "ends of my world" chapters I've had so far down here, because even though there were 3 great beginnings and 3 bad endings, I have beautiful memories to recall of the people and times I shared them with.

Those memories are what matter in this scope, people. Sometimes ends aren't ends. I've reopened chapters with people and places from closed chapters recently, and they are great because I have those middle memories and bonds to build on top of, no matter how bad the ending was.

In the area of dealing with bad relationship (friend/SO/family) endings:
People usually forgive, even if they don't forget. It just sometimes takes a while to forgive, and every situation will have a different timeline for both people involved. It's not about forgetting the hurt, it's about rebuilding that (relation/friend)ship that once existed and was great.

Try to stay optimistic about everything. We don't know who or what God will drop back into our laps or when, or if He will at all. But I'm learning that that's okay. I'm excited to see what He's planning for me, because I know that chapters close to prepare us for new chapters opening, even if those closes are seemingly horrible; we have to trust Him.

I hope this touched someone who needed it. It certainly help me to realize all of this. If you disagree, please, hold back from starting a FB fight, it's not what anyone wants. If you have something constructive to add, feel free to, or text/DM me or something.

And lastly, I'm here if anyone needs someone to talk to. Just shoot me a message, even if we have never talked. I enjoy helping people, and I know how important it is sometimes to have someone to talk to, when you feel alone.

God bless you & I hope you have a great day, you persevering reader, you.